Christmas is around the corner, and it’s that magical time of year when wish lists are written with the reckless optimism of a child who still believes in Santa—or, in my case, with the reckless optimism of someone who refuses to acknowledge credit card limits and budgets.
This year, my list is less “shop the sale” and more “rob a billionaire.”
Do I expect to receive any of these gifts? Absolutely not. But as the saying goes, shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you’ll land in the Chanel store (or something like that.)
Here’s to dreaming big this Christmas because sometimes, being a little delusional is the best gift of all.
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1. Cartier Crash Watch
Cartier Crash Watch
If Salvador Dalí designed timepieces instead of melting clocks, the Cartier Crash would be it. The watch’s surreal, distorted face looks like it’s been through 2024 with me. Its price tag—an eye-watering ₱15,119,812—could fund a modest house or, you know, several years’ worth of existential crises. But let’s be real, who needs real estate when you can have wrist real estate this gorgeous? Time may be an illusion, but wearing this watch isn’t.
2. Chanel Tennis Racket
Chanel Tennis Racket
Tennis but make it couture. I *do* play tennis—though “play” might be a generous term for what happens on the court. With this Chanel racket, for $8,645, I could serve up looks even if my actual serve lands in the next court. Imagine showing up with the interlocking CC logo as my secret weapon; who cares if I lose every match?
Bonus: It doubles as a chic wall décor for when I finally accept my destiny as the reigning champion of casual hitting sessions.
3. Hermès Kelly Pochette
Hermès Kelly Cut Bleu Jean Shiny Porosus Crocodile Gold Hardware
Ah, the Kelly Pochette—a bag so exclusive it practically comes with a restraining order. Originally designed in 2004 by Jean Paul Gaultier, this mini marvel is now a “quota bag,” which means you can’t just waltz into a Hermès store and buy it—for a measly $36,500 of course. You have to earn the privilege (shoutout to my SA Trisha!).
Forget the Birkin, if you ask me—the bag is a little aging. But the Kelly Pochette? It’s tiny, it’s iconic, and it probably costs more than my entire net worth.
4. Bezel Tennis Bracelet
Essie Emerald Cut Bezel Tennis Bracelet 13.80 ctw
Nothing says “I have arrived” like diamonds on your wrist. An Emerald Cut Bezel Tennis Bracelet is the perfect mix of understated elegance and over-the-top flex. The clean lines of the emerald cut add a timeless sophistication, and it’s sparkly enough to blind anyone asking awkward questions about your life choices
Sure, I’d have to sell a kidney to afford it—for ₱3,059,000—but who needs two kidneys when you’ve got this much drip?
5. The Row Prudens Knee Boot
The Row Prudens Knee Boot
These boots priced at a modest $3,300 are the perfect example of why girl math can’t solve everything.
The Olsen twins clearly designed them with their minimalist wizardry, and I’m obsessed. But let’s face it: Living in a tropical country means these boots would be worn approximately once a year, and only if I crank the AC to arctic levels. Still, one can dream.
6. Bottega Lamp
Bottega Veneta Large Model 600
Why just light up a room when you can illuminate your tax bracket?
This lamp, a reimagining of Gino Sarfatti’s 1966 design, is part sculpture, part furniture7bet gaming or sevenbet, and all extravagance. At this price point—$4,400—it’s less “home décor” and more “art museum.” But hey, if you’re going to splurge, let it be on something that lights up your life—literally.